From an early age, women learn to cultivate close, intimate relationships and they learn what makes them feel cared for and understood. Male friendships don’t usually have the same depth and level of closeness, so men typically enter the realm of emotional awareness later in life, usually when they form relationships with women.
While everyone deserves respect, men and women tend to feel differently about what it means. Think about those conversations where you’re venting about your day at work. Your guy inevitably jumps in to offer solutions. Innately, he’s a problem solver. You, on the other hand, may not need him to fix your problems, you just want to talk about them.
When you tell him you don’t need his help, it can feel like disrespect, even though that’s the last thing you mean. Men often feel respect as love and if you disapprove of him, what he does, how he dresses or why he responds in such a way, he’ll have a hard time trusting you with his emotions. Accept him as he his, along with the differences in male/female communication and he’ll bask in the light of your respect.
Admiration and respect really go hand in hand with one another. Your man wants nothing more from you than your admiration in whatever he does for the two of you. The point here is “TRUE” admiration, you can’t be fake about it. Guys can very easily sense fake admiration and they may or may not tell you to stop faking it. Just be true about it, admire him for everything he does, for all the hard work he puts in for the two of you and he’ll be pleased more than ever. Trust me, it works. She admires me for everything I am and I do the same in return, no fake admiration whatsoever. Complete happiness isn’t that hard to achieve.
No man will ever come right out and tell you he likes it when you compliment him because it’s a weird thing to ask for, and also not very “manly,” if you will. But just because he doesn’t ask, doesn’t mean he doesn’t crave.
Men also feel insecure about their physical appearance, and they don’t get nearly as much validation as we do. Think about it, when a guy posts a picture on Facebook or goes out with friends he doesn’t have a loyal band of cheerleaders commenting on how great he looks. When it comes to his physical appearance, you’re really his only source of compliments, so load him up! Tell him you think that shirt is sexy on him, that you can tell he’s been working out hard at the gym, that a certain color makes his eyes look even more striking, that his hair looks sexy pushed back … you get the point!
Acceptance Of His Help
You are, without a doubt, independent, confident and entirely capable of looking after yourself. However, that has absolutely nothing to do with allowing your man to help you. We all love to feel needed and this is a way he can show his love through action, rather than emotion.
It’s not about being a damsel in distress. Men love strong women who know how to navigate challenges, whether it be an emotional upset or changing a tire. But, when he offers to carry your bags (even though they’re not heavy), he’s expressing the desire to make you happy, to make life easier for you, to feel useful to you. In the old-fashioned sense, this is called chivalry. Enjoy it and let him.
All men want and love encouragement. I’m going to talk about myself here, I find nothing more empowering than her support and the way she encourages me to keep striving for the best. It’s said that behind every successful man there’s a woman, it’s very true and the same goes for me. I work hard because she encourages me to never stop believing in myself, she makes me realize my strengths and she makes my weaknesses seem nonexistent. Ladies believe in your man, encourage him and support him with everything you have, you’ll find yourself in a better place with him.
When you tell him what you want in a way that makes him feel good
Men want to make the woman they are with happy; this is actually one of the biggest driving forces for a man in a relationship. In fact, if a man doesn’t think he can make a particular woman happy, he most likely won’t want to continue a relationship with her. And men appreciate it when you tell them how to make you happy as long as it’s done in the right way. The right way does not include nagging, guilting, lecturing, or shaming. It entails lovingly telling him what you like and what you want in a way that makes him feel good. Framing something as “I really love it when you …” rather than “Why don’t you ever …” is a good place to start.
When you lecture a man or come down on him for what he’s doing wrong, he feels like a failure. He also feels like a little kid being scolded by mommy for misbehaving. When you tell him what you want in a way that makes him feel good, he feels good about doing it and good about himself because he knows how to make you happy.
It’s impossible to talk about what men want women to do without delving into sex. Sexy lingerie, different positions, a hot make-out session in public or anything new, really, will drive him wild. He won’t want to ask for it, but he will want it, and it’s also one of the best ways to create intimacy and keep the all-important fire alive.
Be His Buddy
Being your guy’s buddy doesn’t mean you have to go to the footy, slurp down a meat pie and have burping comps (though a lot of guys would love it if you joined in occasionally). It means being on his side and accepting him as he is, just like a true friend would.
Too often, even at the very beginning of relationships, it’s easy to fall into the trap of liking most things about a new lover, while thinking you’ll just change the things you don’t. You won’t. Worse still, you’ll make him feel like you’re not in his corner, that there’s something wrong with him and that he can’t act like himself around you. And a true friend would never do that.
What else? Well, dressing up like a hot nurse and bringing him a beer is always a winner – though he might not have the guts to ask you.